Valentine's Day
by P. Yorick
Summary: During an evening playing designated driver for a drunken Dean and Castiel, Sam comes to a realization. Now if only he could get those two idjits to figure it out...


Sam gave himself a mental pat-on-the-back for confiscating the Impala's keys earlier that evening. He could already hear Dean's drunk shouts as he walked into the bar from the cold February evening. Dean was tottering on one of the cracked leather barstools, adjusting a row of six empty shot glasses. Cas slouched next to him; hand clamped around a half-empty bottle of mysterious brown-yellow liquid. Opposite the grimy bar was a shoddy wooden stage where a tipsy couple stumbled through a tinny karaoke version of _Sweet Caroline_. There were a few decrepit pink heart streamers decorating the bar in addition to a large vinyl poster of a debauched-looking cherub hoisting a bottle of Jack Daniels. Sam could thing of several things he would rather be doing on Valentine's Night, most of them revolving around Amelia and large amounts of chocolate and liquor.

One out three wasn't bad.

"SAMMY!" Dean grinned and lurched off the barstool.

"Uh, hey Dean."

"Iz…Iz Valmem-Valmemtimes Sammy!" Dean flung a handful of the red and pink confetti that littered the bar into Sam's face. Castiel already had several fistfuls worth stuck to his hair and the shoulders of his coat. He didn't seem to notice.

"Dean…are you drunk?" Sam grabbed his brother's arm to keep him from falling over. Dean giggled and stared wide-eyed.

"You're so TALL Sammy!"

"Okay, obviously you're drunk. I'm more wondering HOW."

"Purgatery." Castiel slurred and turned towards Sam. "It healed his liver and dester- destei- destroyed his alcohol tolerance." Castiel took a swig from his bottle and grimaced "This iss good."

"What the hell is that?" Castiel offered the bottle to Sam. The label read "Genuine Panther-Piss Bathtub Gin" and smelled vaguely of rubbing alcohol and gasoline. Sam pushed the bottle a little further down the bar. "Jesus Cas, now I have to get BOTH of you back to the hotel."

"Give it." Castiel snatched the bottle and glowered at Sam "Yer voice iss grating."

"Cas's getting smashed Sammy…I asked fer the strongest stuff they had!" Dean whooped and flung himself against Castiel's back, draping his arms over the angel's shoulders. Sam could see the cute bartender shaking with silent laughter as Dean babbled.

"You two. You two are the BEST two…guys! Another shot over here!" Dean slammed his fist on the bar "And a beer fer my brother!" The bartender rolled her eyes but obliged. Sam sat down on Dean's unoccupied stool with a sigh. There was no stopping this train now. The next whiskey shot disappeared quickly.

"Sammmyyy! Yer, the best brother…the best brother in the world and heaven and hell put TOGETHER. Even if you didn't look fer me." Dean gave an overenthusiastic whack to Sam's back. "And Cas…" Dean looked around for a second, the remembered that he was draped over the angel's shoulders. "I don' know what I would do without you Cas." Dean patted Cas's arm and leaned his face into the back of Cas's head.

Cas looked somewhat confused and craned his neck to look at Dean. "Dean…I-"

"Last call for karaoke!" A bored looking busboy waved the mike around from the makeshift stage "Going once, twice…"

"YEAH! Yeah over here!" Dean began stumbling towards the stage.

"Dean! What are you doing!?" Sam could already feel the contact humiliation. Dean could dig up a grave in twenty minutes, gank a ghoul without a moment of hesitation, and shoot three bullets through the same hole, but he could not carry a tune to save his life. He always seemed to forget this once he had ingested a certain amount of alcohol.

"I gotta do this Sammy!" Dean was already on stage, leaning against the karaoke machine. "Les get ready to rock Stromsburg, Nebrashka!" Dean punched the song into the machine.

The other bar patrons looked on with half-amusement, half-annoyance. A tinny midi melody began to play.

"Oh lord…" Sam buried his face in his hands

I CAN'T FIGHT THIS FEELING ANY LONGER

YET I'M STILL AFRAID TO LET IT FLOW.

WHAT STARTED OUT AS FRIENDSHIP, HAS GROWN STROOOONGER

I ONLY WISH I HAD THE STRENGTH TO LET IT SHOOOWWWW

The bartender placed another beer in front of Sam.

"I didn't order this."

"It's on the house man." She glanced at Dean and raised an eyebrow. Sam sighed and raised the bottle in her direction.

I TELL MYSELF THAT I CAN'T HOLD OUT FOREVERRR

I SAID THERE IS NO REASON FOR MAAA FEAR

'CAUSE I FEEL SO SECURE WHEN WE'RE TOGEEEETHEEEER

YOU GIVE MY LIFE DIRECTION, YOU MAKE EVERYTHING SO CLEAR!

A man in a trucker cap booed and a few of the younger patrons began to snicker.

AND EVEN AS I WANDER, I'M KEEPIN' YOU IN SIGHT!

YOU'RE A CANDLE IN THE WINDOW ON A COLD, DARK WINTER NIGHTTTTT.

AND I'M GETTING' CLOSER THAN I EVER THOUGHT I MIGHT!

Dean threw out a hand and pointed towards the bar.

AND I CAN'T FIGHT THIS FEELING ANYMOREEEEEEE

Sam, feeling like he was moving in slow motion, traced Dean's finger from the stage to…

I'VE FORGOTTEN WHAT I STARTED FIGHTING FORRRRRR

…A bedraggled glitter covered angel staring blearily at the stage. A handful of bar-nuts flew from one of the tables towards Dean. Castiel blinked.

AND IF I HAVE TO CRAWL UPON THE FLOORRRR

The bar-nuts ricocheted off the karaoke machine and flew back at the throwers. A few louder boos and curses began to come from the audience. Dean threw his head back and sang louder.

COME CRASHING THROUGH YOUR DOORRR

A bottle thrown by the man in the trucker cap seemed to curve in its trajectory and smash into a wall. Dean did a sort of air-guitar pirouette and whirled around to stare straight at the bar. And at Castiel.

NO I CAN'T FIGHT THIS FEELIN' ANY MOREEEEE

"Oh SHIT." Sam found himself flipping through old memories as he looked back and forth from Dean to Castiel. A hand on a shoulder, the intense staring, the two of them standing a bit closer than necessary. Dean's sad look as Castiel disappeared into the lake. Sam had wondered why he had kept the trench coat around, despite its bad memories….

"Profound relationship my ASS." Sam couldn't decide who was stupider. Him for failing to notice something so obvious (Him! The one who was supposed to be good with feelings!) or Dean and Cas for keeping something so under-wraps. What if Dean and Cas has stared something a long time ago and had been keeping it a secret? Sam grabbed Castiel's arm and turned to ask him. He probably wouldn't lie if caught off guard with a direct question…. Just then, the angel sagged and passed out onto the bar. Apparently the combination of 190-proof liquor and physics manipulation had been too much. Dean, already halfway through his increasingly unintelligible massacre of REO Speedwagon, began to curse as the projectiles from the audience began to make contact. They were going to start a riot soon…Sam slapped a few $20s onto the bar and hauled Castiel over one of his shoulders. It only took a few moments to get to the stage, but Dean seemed reluctant to leave. He and trucker-hat were engaged in a shouting match from opposite sides of the room.

"Hey fuck you buddy-oh, Sammy!"

"Let's go Dean."

"Whaz wrong with Cas?"

"He's fine. We're leaving NOW."

Sam hauled Dean out by the arm, trying to avoid the hail of curly fries and peanuts that followed them out of the bar. Sam nodded to the bartender and pushed his way out into the parking lot. The cold February air was biting and Dean still wouldn't turn down the volume.

"I'm not feelin' too good Sammy."

"Please throw up now, I don't feel like mopping your vomit out of the car."

Sam tossed Cas in the back seat as Dean retched into a garbage can. Dean stumbled back to the car, now looking less happy and started to make for the passenger door.

"Nope. Backseat. I'm not gonna deal with you being pissy in the morning if you barf in the air conditioner."

"You're MEAN." Dean clambered into the backseat and flopped over onto Castiel. He poked the angel's face and grinned. "Cas's sleepy Sammy…"

"I'm gonna have some questions for you in the morning Dean." Sam climbed behind the wheel and turned on the heat.

"Nah. Questions SUCK." Dean wobbled a little as the car pulled out onto the freeway. Sam glanced in the rearview.

"Have you and Cas been sleeping together behind my back this whole time?"

"Mmm?" Dean was slumping onto Castiel's chest, eyes bleary. Cas muttered something in Enochian and threw an arm around Dean's shoulder, pulling him closer. "Nah Sammy….I don' wanna….don' wanta…" Dean yawned and nuzzled into the angel's neck, "I don' wanna hurt him."

"Yeah, he looks like he's in a ton of pain right now." Sam rolled his eyes. If someone had told him yesterday he would live to see his brother and Castiel cuddling….

"Nah Sammy." The trench coat muffled Dean's voice. "I don' wanna cause…cause I can't love them without hurting them!"

"Hurting who?"

"The people I love…" Dean gave a long-suffering sigh and curled tighter into Cas. His breathing slowed and the car was silent. Sam turned the radio on low and stared out into the darkness. The late-night DJ started talking as a jangly pop melody faded away…

"This is for all you lonely souls out there on Valentines, lookin' for love in all the wrong places." A lone guitar started strumming.

I've heard there was a secret chord

that David played and it pleased the lord

but you don't really care for music do you?

Dean was quietly snoring and Cas made odd bird-like noises when the car went over bumps. The highway was dark outside of Sam's circle of headlights. There was only a sliver of moon tonight and the stars shone in the cold night air. Sam pulled parking lot of the E-Z Rider Motel and listened as Jeff Buckley crooned out the last verse.

Maybe there's a God above

all I've ever learned from love

Was how to shoot somebody who outdrew you

And it's not a cry that you hear at night

It's not somebody who's seen the light

It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah…

The car smelled like hard travel and liquor and Sam could see that the windows were beginning to fog up. Sam sat with an elbow against the driver door, staring at a liquor advertisement in the hotel bar window. It was a Budweiser sign featuring a neon-outlined dog whose legs flashed together and apart, so it looked like it was running. The last strains of the song began to fade into a more upbeat melody. Sam sighed and turned off the engine. The distant sound of traffic and the buzz of the neon sign replaced the music.

It took two trips to get Dean and Cas into the motel room and Sam ended up dumping them both into Dean's bed. Normally Cas would have disappeared at this point to do whatever it was he did when the Winchesters were sleeping, but he certainly wasn't going anywhere tonight. Sam managed to get Cas out of his coat and tie and Dean out of his ketchup-encrusted jeans (a casualty of the bar). Dean had on his stupid Valentine's Day novelty boxers with the flaming hearts. They both smelled like a distillery, but Sam could live with it for a night. He tucked the questionable motel quilt up around them and went off to take a shower. When he got back, he found Dean with his head on Castiel's chest and a leg thrown over the angel. Cas had his hand on Dean's shoulder. Sam had seen the scar there many times, the handprint of pink scar tissue. Sam shook his head and smirked as he got into bed. How had he not seen it before? Sam climbed into his own bed and reached to turn off the light, taking one last look at the sleeping pair. Someone was gonna have to play cupid for these two idjits, otherwise they'd spend the rest of eternity acting like fuckin' teenagers.

Sam felt a small surge of resentment at the pair. Dean, of all people, might have finally found a way to be happy in the hell that was the life for the Winchesters. But he couldn't feel much ill will towards them. If anything this proved there might be a way for him after all. Maybe, just maybe if Dean and Cas could find away to be happy together (with a little help from the more emotionally functional member of their little band), then somewhere, somehow there was a way for him as well. Amelia was still a fresh wound and Sam wasn't sure yet when, or if, he would find a way to move on from her. But in spite of this, Sam went to sleep with a smile on his face for the first time in a very long while.

"Sam you little shit, get out of the car and give me the keys."

"Not until you two talk Dean!" Sam had to shout through the window of the car. Dean stood outside in clean clothes and a pair of dark sunglasses.

"I'm too hung over to talk about ANYTHING!" Dean tried the door handle of the Impala again. "Cas, can you get the keys?"

Cas stood a few feet away, also freshly groomed and looking headachy. "Your brother has drawn a sigil of protection around the car. I cannot enter." Cas grimaced as the sun peeked from behind a cloud, "Though I agree that he is is being, as you put it, a little shit."

"Sam! I swear to God!"

"Go talk about the cuddle-fest you two were having this morning! Or your karaoke serenade last night! Just…TALK!" Sam held up the bags of fast food he had bought earlier that day. "I can wait!"

"I am going to KILL YOU! And this time you'll STAY DEAD!" Dean pounded a fist on the window.

Sam took a purposeful slurp of his milkshake and nodded towards the hotel's restaurant. He knew there was a table for two there with breakfast already paid for (and that they served bacon pancakes). Dean gave Sam look that burned even through the sunglasses and stalked off towards the restaurant, dragging Castiel by the arm. Sam smiled to himself and turned on the radio, setting in for a long day. A song fizzled in, already half-way over.

Ohhh oh, we're half-way there

Ohhh oh! Living on a prayer!

Take my hand, we'll make it I swear

Ohh oh! Living on a prayer…


End file.
